An Doof Ass Speaks!

Faithful Reader:

Only moments ago, a Mr. Adam Wood sent an e-mail to me expressing his immanent return to the States. This can mean two and two things only. Firstly, his beer shakes have become unbearable. Secondly, he wants to stop the international publication of the seminal work Adam Wood is an Doof Ass: An Exposition into the Pysche of a Troubled Youth Lost in the Seas of Denial, Boredom and Peach Schnapps.

Fear not, dear Reader, his crimes will not go un-exposed nor his liver uncirrhosis-ed. While Journal of a Working Boy will surely be what will secure my place in history, I would like to think AWIADAAEITPOATYLITSODBAPS will also find its way into the hearts of humanity. If not for me, for the youth who could learn from Mr. Wood's myriad of life faults.

My wife is trying to poison me!

Dear Faithful Reader,

So the Mrs. packed my lunch this morning and included a "delicious" pear. Little did I know the pear is in no way ripe or delicious. It tastes of styrophoam and rubber cement. i tell you this now because I just took a bite of said pear.

Also, if P.B. doesn't have a blog by the end of the day, I will consider him a luddite and a loser. The only reason I can think of as to why he does not have a blog would have something to do with Wendell Berry telling him it is bad for community or some nonsense such as this.

How much is that puppy in the window?

So my wife now has a bloggy. that's cool, she has an interesting post on Pilsen. Check it out through my second successful link creation "How much is that puppy in the window?" Cheers to Dresanen for his link to her site, otherwise I would have not known it existed.

The Ultimate Course

First of all, programming is easy it only took me an hour to link to dresanen.blogspot.com.
Dresanen is a smart sassy new blog by an up-and-comer who really wants to make it in "The World of the Blog." I have taken him under my wing and taught him everything I know. He's running successful experiments all the time now from the safety of his tree house. It is my pleasure to introduce Desanen!

Also, tomorrow will be the first entry in a weekly series I like to call Journal of a Working Boy. In it, I recap the madcap adventures of my work week. From my overindulgence in late afternoon Snickers bars to the occasional nap under my cubicle desk, it hard to say what will happen in the crazy world of big city politics.

Some have commented on my having not insulted them or, to my eternal shame, not even mentioning them in my blog. This, no doubt, will change as things slowly start to come together here on noononsaturdaycigarrettbreathe.blogspot.com. I encourage you all to stay tuned, I'm currently working on essay entitled: Adam Wood is an Doof Ass. It's some of my greatest work to date and mentions many people.

the picture is up

picture is up and OMG you would not believe what happened to me, I was total LOL due to the etc...

half way through

Have no fear faithful readers, I will have a picture up soon.

Let me lay down the groundwork for this fine little space of mine.
Number one, honesty is not only over-rated, it is far more difficult to understand and explain. Therefore, deception, subterfuge, and half-truths will be par for the course.

Beyond this rule things are good, so what the hell is y'all. Apparently an english man also enjoys moving and shaking (see my profile). Limey bastard!

Wood is still a cultural leech in Arabia. He hasn't responded to my e-mail as of late so I think we are fighting. This would only be the second time something like this has occurred between us and the first not involving alcohol (at least on my end, he's a drunk (pass it on)).

I'm bored with my job and life in general.

Peter, I assume you will be the only person reading my blog, that is cool. Allen, you're lame for not calling. Graham, I'm lame for not calling. Adam Wood, you're just lame. Joe and Slanger, I can't tell you two apart and so forth.

Today's quote comes from the excellent book Over there is the Olive Tree by Jacque Terois...It's not life that is boring it's the whole ensemblee.