EAU DUE MAREVELLES!!!!!

I know many of you turn to these hallowed entries for guidance in all matters of life, love and luxury. It’s a big burden we face to keep you informed on the most cutting-edge fashions as explained to us by old man internet-based fashion forums, but we like to feel like we’re up to the task. Well, no task is greater than the one now before us all. Valentines Day. Oh sure, some will question the veracity of amorous overtures based on planetary cycles and social expectations. But we must always remember that these such people are either cheap asses, lazy, uncreative, uncaring, unloving or possibly all these things combined.

Take me for example. While in the past I’ve been known to shirk romantic interludes due to better personal options afforded me, I’ve never passed up Valentine’s Day. Why? Because you blow it to the moon one day a year and Christmas, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Girlfriends birthdays and St. Patrick’s Day can all fall by the wayside and they can’t say a damn thing about it.

Of course, the really hard part is always outdoing what was done the year previous. After all, since this is all you’re going to have to do all year, it’s important not to not mess it up as this gives them an opening to nag, hit, swear and commit adultery. None of which will impress your old college buddies. So the pressure really is on. And, if I do say so myself, last year I came through big time. If I remember correctly, I bought 7 bottles of Cook’s and she got to watch me play backgammon at the library until I had to leave to go watch the sporting match with my Fraternity brothers at John Barleycorn. And how do you top that? Well until last night, I didn’t think I could and I was worried. But then it came out of nowhere, like an Episcopal who believes in missions. There I was sitting on the couch trying to remember if Plato or Aristotle forwarded the concept of monads when the answer hit me like a weightless ton of said metaphysically simple objects...wait for it...get her something for me.

Think about it. What does one hope to accomplish by giving a gift? Quite simply, a la Derrida, the giver wants to see the receiver enjoy the gift and thus receive pleasure from a successful economic exchange. Good, pure gift giving is all about an economy of concrete exchange. After all, what’s worse than getting someone a gift and discovering they don’t like it? Answer? Nuclear Holocaust–but a close second is Nothing. And how can we eliminate such a disaster? Engagement with the international community or, more simply, get them a gift for them to give you. What’s better than her seeing the joy in my eyes when she opens her gift and sees how excited I am to put on that new cashmere sweater? Or try out the marble backgammon board with some old man down at the library? Or that sewing machine accessory you’ve been wanting for like the last 3 days.

And so go forth and buy yourself stuff for your significant other to give you and the year is yours.