It's a tricky species

Dear Faithful Reader:

My addiction to high stakes gambling is on the wane. As of Saturday my days of roulette success resemble my ability to appease my wife's wrath. Oh cruel twist of fate that led poor Andy, Adam, Tad and Richard to the twisting table and its temptress of tumble. While Adam, like a 79 year old chain-smoking blue hair, whittled away his 10 minutes of excitement (and 10 dollars) arm-in-arm with the the 25 cent slots, I could only be appeased by real excitement. With gallant Tad Lindsey on my right we commenced to take on the roulette table like a 30 rack and a baked potao. Unlike beer and carbohydrates however the table left us cold and wanting when, after 5 minutes, our stacks had diminished to nothing like our reason for being in that loud cramped fishbowl of debauched. Some have said perhaps this will be the end of my gambling days. To them I say I simply went in with too little money and too few cigarettes.