multiculturalismismbpli

Sometimes you have to make your own fun. Most of the time the superfluous gambling, the extravagant tableware, the dro’ is enough to truly satisfy. Because I know this. From experience. Lots of experience. Some. A couple times. Once. Okay, fine: I don’t gamble superfluously (cough) and extravagant tableware makes little sense when your table sits at a 45 degree angle and always feels sticky. And the dro’? Well, let’s just say I haven’t kissed the sky in a while.

That said: Sometimes/all the time I have to make my own fun. And that’s not always easy. Sometimes its hard to see what’s fun about cleaning a small, smelly apartment and cooking meals for an evil taskmaster (not cough). Luckily however sometimes its not impossible to have fun. Take yesterday for example...

It all began like any other Sunday; I feigned sickness to get out of church and began a day long marathon of television viewing and chocolate milk drinking. When I used to live in Fargo, North Dakota this wasn’t a very good scene because we had only 3 channels and they only showed programs like: “Scowl while You Smile,” “Terrible Food and Quintessential Boredom” “The World is Scary Therefore Stay Here and Bash Your Head” “Trust Us” and “How to Make a Cool yet Sensitive Kid on 12th Street Hate Life for like 2 1/2 Years.” In fact the terrible TV programs -and the evil evil evil people- was a major catalyst for the blood oath I took with my reflection in 6th grade that I would be a legless hobo in Juneau (easy enough to live up to) than ever live in that godforsaken place again.

So you can imagine my eternal surprise and joy upon moving to Chicago and discovering all kinds of wonderful TV stations: Korean, Mexican, Indian, Another station possibly not Korean. All of these wonders fill my crooked and cramped living room/bathroom with their soft, soothing glow(there’s even a Christian station that shows reruns of Diagnosis Murder.) But none of those stations even comes close to to my recent Sunday discovery of P-TV.

What is P-TV? Quite simply, it’s girls in bikinis sitting in cars, caressing the steering column and eating sausages. Yup, it’s Chicago’s Polish Station. So much unnecessary seduction. In an ad for a deli on Milwaukee 7 girls just ran through the isles shedding layer after layer of thick fury clothing while eating large onions. And according to one for a restaurant called ##@%%& (rough translation) the correct way to eat Borsch is to take a big bowl of it and pour it slowly all over yourself and then roll around on the floor to the soothing sounds of discoteque music. Then you have stand up, look really poutty and have a couple friends slowly lick it off of you. I thought it a bit strange but who am I to judge other cultures? I guess it's like I always say: When in Rome let them lick Borsch off of you, slowly.

Any hoo, if you’re looking for me I’ll be STOCHSKI’s buying the most passionate produce in town.