THe latest DISH!

As an awesome philosopher, I have very refined tastes and social graces. For example, I often find myself at the center, the epicenter really, of exceedingly witty banter. I also use an old tyme razor and enjoy evening constitutions with my bosom chums around Washington Square – swinging our canes and kicking dust and mud onto filthy little urchins. So it comes as little surprise that people think I have it all - I mean a pearl handed penknife, a monocle, bosom chums. What’s not to love? But, unforuntately, my life isn’t all appletinis and Parliaments lit by beautiful twenty year old Puerto Ricans. My life rules - don’t get me wrong; but there’s still that one thing that bothers me. A thing so intangible I can almost touch it. A question.

THE question really - you know the one I’m all talking about. The one that goes: Is Authentic Bible Worship University of Midwestern Godland the greatest university ever? And if so, how can I prove it?

I mean, those of you privileged enough to have ever set foot on its well fertilized lawns or grasped its faux Corinthian columns don’t need convincing. (I mean, fuck, faux Corinthian columns! You’d need a heart of secular humanism or, even worse, cynicism not to be moved to tears by that kind of elegance, time honored craftsmanship and painted aluminum.) And when you add to that cutting edge intellects like Sxm Storms and Mxrk Txlbot AND a thoughtful and ambitious leadership, you’ve got a pretty convincing argument. So today I was not in the least surprised to find out that the latest “news” from the ol’ girl is "Looky! Looky! We're in the news because of a children’s movie!" This apparently is not only news, but impressive, good news.

Once again, holy fucking shit, what an institution.