BEAN TOWN! WHAT?!

Yesterday’s big event was seeing a guy bleeding to death at the UIC Halsted stop on the Blue Line - so much blood and general unpleasantness. When the ambulance arrived he was pretty much passed out from blood loss. To the credit of those of us trying to help him, he was at least able to hold some napkins to his blooded face while he passed out. No one knew what had happened to him and, considering the situation, I felt bad asking. But now that I’ve had sometime to go back over the event I’m going with a junk deal gone awry in the midst of a carjacking/kidnapping.

In other news, for some God-unknown reason I’ve decided to slum it this coming weekend in a far off douche filled city. Apparently a certain individual with rather hairy features lives there, and I foolishly entrusted my getting around to his mushy gin brain. Interestingly, I’ve heard rumors that in anticipation of this weekend he’s actually given up drinking rum for breakfast in the hope that he’ll be able to form short-term memories again. I have my doubts about this though, when I talked to him last night he was pleasantly surprised to realize he owned a cell phone and asked me to find out who’s paying the bill so he can “give them a high five.”

My biggest regret about leaving Chicago this weekend is that I’m missing the Chicago Marathon, which is running down my street. If things had worked out differently, I would have invited my cadre of bikini girlfriends over for mimosas and strawberries while we watched the race from the comfort of my heart shaped king-sized bed. I guess there’s always next year and next year’s cadre of bikini babes.