Bam!

As the summer draws to a close, it’s hard to think about all the ways I’m going to be completely fucked for the next couple of months. Take today for example; I had to walk to the bus stop this morning in freezing ass rain. Now, I’m not much of a complainer, but it’s hard to feel upbeat when you know your skin is about to start falling off in dry crumbly chunks and you won’t see the sunshine for weeks on end.

Worst still is the fact taht working in the Loop -in the summer- is pretty fucking good. You can read in the sun at Daley Plaza. You can nap in the shade at Millennium Park. You can even take the Red Line to Addison, grab a dog and a beer and watch a couple of innings from a side street bar.

But there’s one thing I’ll miss more than all these others. And that’s scoping racks. The Loop on a sunny Tuesday in July is just swarming with knockers. I don’t know how many times I’ve almost been hit by bus, robbed by a hobo, or pounded by some hick from the suburbs just because of cha-cha’s. It’s always an adventure when you’re out trolling for the twin temptresses, and you just can’t get the same thrill mentally undressing a girl in January just to take you mind off the wind that’s turning your face into sandpaper.


-Goodbye summer; goodbye hooters.