I took some time OFF!!

I arrived at the Memorial Day bbq, five hours before everyone else. I brought with me 3 pounds of special custom sausage from a local italian deli, homemade mango salsa, tortilla chips, a salad with a homemade citrus vinergrette, a six pack of Coronas, half a bottle of whiskey and a 2 liter bottle filled to the brim with ice cold premixed G&Ts. I set up my imitation crazy creek, placed my straw hat upon my head and adjusted the shoulders on my madras jacket. I poured myself off a large glass of 9 am whiskey, pealed a banana and began the waiting game. If there is one thing that can be held against this annual bbq it’s that it has become so big and glorious that invariably people you don’t know or hate will show up and eat your mango salsa. People began arriving around noon. The first to arrive were good old friends with which I hold a special bosom chummery. We exchanged passionate hugs and immediately began breaking bread together while discussing various memories of past encounters. Moments later however a couple arrived who’ve I’ve always considered truly represhensible. They were carrying left overs from one of their parents house and sat in lawn chairs like a bunch of big shots.

Working Boy: So, how did you guys find out about the bbq? I haven’t seen you in like two years. So....how’s stuff?
Them: Oh you know, it’s all about us all the time.
W.B: Cool, cool. Hey so An Doof Ass knows someone you went to grade school with.
Them: Oh wow! I never thought they would hang out. I thought the individual in question was more conservative than that.
W.B: What the hell are you talking about?
Them: well, you know, you’re friends aren’t exactly conservative.
W.B: You mean all my friends who worship the Triune God of Christianity with orthodox vigor? Those wacky liberal friends of mine?
Them: Yeah, but I don’t expect you to understand. I mean, you’re drunk right now and it’s just past noon.
W.B: How dare you criticize a bbq drunkening?!

After that they wander around for about an hour waiting for their friends to arrive. Meanwhile I played catch and cooks up sausage and listened to the Twins game on the radio. As the day wore on, I started getting hungover around 2 and tried to get back on the drinking train with pretty good success. After this I couldn’t really remember much, I remember playing softball and hitting two grand slams before injuring my wrist rescuing baby squirrels from an oncoming train. I also did some dip and got a tummy ache. All in all, I arrived home at 11 at night thoroughly sunburned with a throbbing headache and a 12 pack of Miller Light that I swiped from some people who had no business being at my bbq in the first place.