Journal of a Working Boy #4: How to be successful

In today's troubled times (see Big Business!*!*!), I am often stopped in the super-cool-secret back halls of City Hall by various bigwigs and fat cats. **They ask me how I do it. How I stay so clean when I’m surrounded and, shh, involved in very profitable scandals.** With a Snickers wrapper hanging from my breast pocket, I coolly draw out my pocket watch, by its silver chain, and tell them the secrets that I now pass onto you…(note: these secrets are told through song and dance….the dance (Virginia Reel) the song (The Entertainer by Scott Joplin)…hum along with me!

Super Success is a tricky species. It requires a carefully attuned sense of self-preservation and basic classiness. For example, you know the big project that matters a whole bunch? Don’t get involved with that project. Stay in the background encouraging those who do work hard. You’ll never fail and everyone will like you. Also, save money by having 3 dress shirts and one pair of slacks. As long as on of those shirts is white, you’ve got 3 days of the workweek covered. Finally, stay out late on Thursday night and get a good drunkening going. That way, when you show up for work the next day you’re either hung-over or still drunk. This makes the day fly by and before you know it, you’ve got yourself a 3-day weekend!

Like so many things, these suggestions are pretty obvious, but you would be surprised how many people don't act on them. The key is
consistency.